Next week’s twitter – now!

Just in case you’ve got a lot on next week, here’s the zeitgeist tape to get you up to speed on what’s coming up next on Twitter.

Warning contains spoilers

1. A Daily Mail columnist will say something outrageous. Twitter will be cross, but will unwittingly support their journalism by amping the shit out of it contributing to their impressive web traffic.
2. Virgin Media will be down – it’s not just you, it’s everyone else.
3. Half of your pals will be at an event with an incomprehensible hashtag. They’ll live tweet, but things will get rather lost in translation “upskill connectors thru integrated hyperlocal conversations #afsmdbc11”. You’ll be glad you didn’t go.
4. There will be far too many conversations about gritting roads.
5. A company will have a crisis. At least 500 social media consultants will write a blog post called “5 things we have learned about crisis comms from Company X”.
6. A popular internet service will change its terms and conditions. Someone will bother to read them and make everyone panic “they will own your copyright”.
7. A relatively obscure person will die, everyone will come out as their number one fan.
8. A government minister, probably Michael Gove, will announce a policy or write a memo. There will be a satirical hashtag.
9. Something outrageous will be tweeted from a politician’s Twitter account. We will be told it was an intern (this is sometimes true but still weird).
10. There will be lots of links to blog posts with lists of 10 things.

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